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Title: If You're Stupid, Do the Country a Favor: Don't Vote
Author: Anonymoose
Category: Humor
Subject: Voting
Date: 12/23/2005

Hey stupid. Yeah, that's you. I can tell you're stupid because you read my rant. You're thinking to yourself "He's talking about somebody else. I'm not stupid." If you assume you're not stupid, you're wrong.

Let me prove it to you. Ask yourself this question: "Am I stupid?" and if your answer is "yes," then you're obviously stupid. If your answer was "no," you're more deceitfully stupid, which makes you much more stupid because you don't have the common courtesy to warn people about your stupidity.

See, truly ignorant people are ignorant even of their own intellectual insufficiency. Not only that, but they lack the common sense to ask honest people how vapid they really are. Don't be uninformed; instead, take it from me-- you're stupid.

Back to my point, idiot. Don't vote. If you are stupid, that is. We've already established that if you're reading this, you're stupid. So, you there, sitting in that chair: don't vote. This country has enough problems without having to impose an IQ prerequisite for voting. Save us all the trouble, and don't give us your unwanted opinion on who should be president or senator or sherrif. You don't know enough, nor do you have the reasoning capability to select a president. Leave it the informed. "I'm informed," you say, mouth-breathing over a tub of cholesterol-laden popcorn while watching the news and wondering why George Bush says nucular. News flash, you little pagan, it doesn't matter how he says the word, what matters is that he knows what it means, and you haven't the slightest idea. You're uninformed because the people running the TV have opinions. The people who produce the news or write your newspaper want you to like a certain candidate, so don't take it from them. Look at the facts, and consider how much each fact matters. Nevermind, don't look at the facts-- just don't vote. If you haven't looked at the facts yet, you're definitely too stupid.

An idiot can do a lot of damage by voting. For example, it's been shown that more than 50 percent of those who are planning to vote for John Kerry, when asked whether they were voting "for Kerry or against Bush" replied that they were voting against Bush.


I don't know why you're still reading. Oh, you must be stupid. You don't see why voting "against" a particular candidate can be dangerous. Let me spell it out for you. People who vote for Kerry in order to vote against Bush in effect are only voting for John Kerry because he's not Bush. They still know nothing about Kerry, and don't realize that he could be Satan and they would have no idea. "But he's not Bush, and that's what matters!" says one ignorant voter. Hitler wasn't Bush, either, you walking wind tunnel, so choose the least of the evils. If you don't like Bush, at least take some time to study Kerry and see if he is the man for the job, or decide if his inaugeration would be the best thing for the US. If you don't like Kerry, you'd better be able to tell my why you dislike Kerry more than Bush. "But I don't have time to study thoroughly. I'll just vote for the man with the best vocabulary, or the most charisma. Screw that, the tallest one must be the most qualified. No, that one who has been president before must know what he's doing-- he got there first. Oh, I can't decide." Which brings me back to my point. Don't vote-- you're stupid.

"BUTT VOTIN IS A PRIVELEJ LOL AND WE SHUD BE PROWD OF TAHT!" Yeah, and so is speaking, but you abuse it every day. Be responsible with your rights.
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